


things we whisper (in the dark)

by ThisUsernameTaken



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Tony, IronStrange, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Sappy, Sharing a Bed, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 09:38:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisUsernameTaken/pseuds/ThisUsernameTaken
Summary: "I'm just." Soft again. "I'm afraid to fall asleep. Because-- if I wake up, and this is all a sick dream-- then I don't think I'd ever want to wake up again."The sudden silence stretches eternal before Tony breaks the held breath around them."I've just never felt like this before. I've never--  felt like if someone left I couldn't just, drink it away. I've done that too many times to count. I-.” An exhale through his nose, almost as if he were laughing; that sad huff too soft to be true.“I would drown before I could fill the hole you’d leave, Stephen.”--OR: Tony whispers to Stephen he loves him for the first time, thinking him asleep. He's not. He's really, really not.





	things we whisper (in the dark)

**Author's Note:**

> sap ahoy

"I'm scared."

 

He admits it into the dark, into the hours that knew his lonely secrets best. He says it into the silence of breathing.

 

He whispers his fear to the shadows. He doesn't expect an answer.

 

_ "I'm scared, _ " echoed Tony in Stephen's nightmared mind.

_ "I'm scared _ ," wheezed Tony, body broken on bloody pavement.

(It’s not real, Stephen tells himself. It’s not.)

 

"I'm scared," Tony breathes into Stephen's hair, tangled safely in their bed.

 

Stephen lies still, breathing deep. Okay, real, definitely real. (Tony was talking about his  _ feelings _ , so maybe not-- but he listens anyway.)

 

"I'm scared," Tony murmurs, arms winding strong around his lean frame with a squeeze before falling limp.

 

"I-I know." he stutters, unsure; vulnerable.

"I know you'll still- be here. When I wake up. I know you won't leave."

 

_ Please don't leave me. _

 

It goes unsaid, hangs heavy in the air with a sigh.

He continues, "You tell me you'll be here when I wake, tell me to just- close my eyes and sleep. You'd tell me that now if you were awake."

 

I know you wouldn't lie to me, Stephen. But. I’m still so-" He cuts himself off, breathes in deep and starts again, a soft murmur.

 

"Is it bad of me? That I think you- won't be here. Anymore. I'll wake up cold and alone." A bitter laugh.

 

"Just like always.

 

And that'd be-- okay. I'm used to it. It'd be okay-- I'll be okay."

 

His voice fades into a whisper on the last  _ okay _ , not okay at all.

 

"It would all be  _ fine _ and  _ dandy _ and my heart would be damn rent in two."

 

There's a whoosh of air over their heads; presumably another of Tony's vague hand gestures.

 

"I'm just." Soft again. "I'm afraid to fall asleep. Because-- if I wake up, and this is all a sick dream-- then I don't think I'd ever want to wake up again."

 

The sudden silence stretches eternal before Tony breaks the held breath around them.

 

"I've just never felt like this before. I've never--  felt like if someone left I couldn't just, drink it away. I've done that too many times to count. I-.” An exhale through his nose, almost as if he were laughing; that sad huff too soft to be true.

 

“I would drown before I could fill the hole you’d leave, Stephen.”   
  
His chest constricts with a breath he can’t feel; can’t release without fear of letting Tony know he wasn’t asleep.

 

Tony continues, unaware of the desperate indecision frozen beside him.

 

“This would be so much easier if I hadn’t- if I didn’t- if I don’t...” His chest rises and falls with a deep breath, setting them awash in a gentle blue glow.

 

Tony threads his fingers through the other’s hair.

 

“Love,” so quiet he strains to hear it. 

 

“Love,” he murmurs at last.

 

And Stephen chokes.  

 

“I love- you. I love you, Stephen Strange. And I’m falling into you so fast it feels like flying.

 

“And it scares me, you know? Because I’m falling and there’s no end in sight and what if, what if you’re not there to catch me?”

 

_ What if you don’t love me back? _

 

“I’m scared-- and it’s stupid-- I’ve learned astrophysics overnight, know every equation and its answer-- hell, I’ve probably got a degree in something by accident lying around somewhere.” 

 

(It’s a fact-- he’s got three.) 

 

“It’s the people I don’t know--  _ you _ , I don’t know.” A sigh like he’s smiling. “I never know with you, Stephen, and that only makes me fall faster, but here-- with you, I’m only scared.” Sleep rasped and half intelligible-- he pines for him all the same. 

 

And Stephen so aches to voice his feelings, murmur nothings against his lips. He wishes fiercely to let him know just how much he loves him, how he’d never leave him. Because-- because he felt it too.

 

_ Fall with me, Tony. Fall, faster, deeper, forever. Fall, so that you may catch up with me, far down below.  _ Because he’d fall into Tony forever if it meant he loved him too. Because he was falling into Tony even if he didn’t.

 

But Tony’s already asleep.

 

Stephen leans down, tugs the smaller man up just enough to press a kiss into the crown his of hair.

 

“Don’t be,” he murmurs, the two of them curled perfectly into the other. “I’m right here.”

 

It’s not an I love you, but. It’s close enough.

 

He’d like to see Tony spit out his coffee the next morning when he tells him so anyway.

 


End file.
